Duplex Signal
by purple jellybean hoarder
Summary: Life is filled with surprises. Some are pleasant, others are not. Some are happy, while others are sad. But for a certain Uchiha Sasuke, it came in only one form… [sasunaru]
1. fishcakes

**Prologue…**

It was a peaceful time. The leaves swayed gently in the warm breeze; forest still tucked away in quiet slumber. And in the tranquil silence of the waxing dawn, all waited. Calmly, patiently and—

"Don't do it."

"What, are you joking? This is the perfect opportunity to do this—"

"I said, no."

"Oh come on! This'll be so much fun!"

"You do that and I'll smash your face in."

"Like I'd let you—!"

"Put your hand down! We've all been in danger ever since you learned that thing!"

"How can you say that! As if _your_ thing isn't as destructive as well!"

The quiet planning that had gone so well a few minutes ago was scaling into another argument. But that was the least of either boys' concerns. "That's not the point." The reply came rather swiftly. "You'll blow our cover. We'll think of another way to smoke them out."

"No way. This is the fastest method—"

"—and also the dumbest—"

"—would you stop interrupting me, teme! It's perfectly safe! I can even juggle three of them—wah!"

"W_hen did this happen?_"

"…uh. Several times…"

A loud smack echoed through the forest.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head with a wince and shot the other an irritated look. Always hitting him and bullying him around like that. God, how old were they, already? Being civil didn't take that much of an effort. Always making a racket about one thing or another, there was only so much that he can take. He was going straight to the Hokage once this was over with and _demand_ that he be paired with a more competent partner.

"What are you mumbling about now?"

He eyed the taller youth and sniffed. Figures. Can't even pick up an obvious hint. And just when he was about to shoot out another comeback, blue eyes dropped down to focus on a previously unknown detail, one that was rapidly stealing his attention away like the way how miso ramen called to him after a long day's mission.

"Oi, you have something on your pants."

A bored look. "Right, like I'm going to fall for a trick like that."

"No, I'm serious. Wipe it off! It's distracting!"

"Mind your own business, idiot…hey—_don't touch me_!"

Maybe because he was paying much more attention than he should have, or that he was leaning just a bit too close, but it was amazingly simple to just let everything melt away. Naruto hardly anticipated the hard shove and promptly lost his balance. One hand gracelessly snagged a green jounin collar, while the other hand was jerked back and over, sending that hazardous ball of swirling energy off in some unknown trajectory. The rasengan sailed high in a perfect arc, landed smack middle into that very wooden cabin they were ordered to infiltrate, exploded it violently upon contact, before pulverizing the vicinity of all that was holy and pure.

Wide eyes stared at the bodies littered around the crater of sawdust and splinters, then at each other.

"Er…whoops?"

"—_Naruto_!"

* * *

Summary: Life is filled with surprises. Some are pleasant, others are not. Some are happy, while others are sad. But for a certain Uchiha Sasuke, it came in only one form… 

Disclaimer: naruto and co. belongs to kishimoto masashi.

-----

a sasunaru fic, **Duplex** **Signal **by purple jellybean hoarder

chapter one: the problem with fishcakes

_dedicated to rannie-chan, with love (heart!)_

_

* * *

_

My name is Naruto and I am sexually frustrated.

Whoops. Did I scare you? Did you leap off your seat as you are reading this and yelled: 'tis not true? Paled in horror? Got all worried about foxboy getting some? Alright, no need to get so excited. Let's try again.

My name is Naruto and I am sexually deprived.

There. That was easier to accept now, wasn't it? Much easier to understand. Not too absurd and shocking for the fragile heart. But wait, there's more.

My name is Naruto and I get turned on whenever I see a pair of hot pants.

Ok. By now you are probably either hooting in laughter or gagging at the image of me drooling over a piece of fabric. That'd make a pretty picture now, wouldn't it? The future Hokage getting all horny whenever he sees a nice pair of pants. I mean, what kind of idiot would do that?

Well, I guess there are always exceptions.

Sorry.

---

Naruto slurped loudly, drinking up that wonderful soup before setting it down in front of him. He let out a contented sigh and licked his lips. Nothing felt better than sitting down and eating his favorite food in the whole wide world at his favorite ramen stand, blissfully letting his troubles slide away…

Wait a minute.

"When the hell did you get here, you bastard!" He hollered at the other individual sitting on the far side of the stand.

Annoyed eyes looked up. "I was here before you came."

Oh.

He crossed his arms with a little frown, blue eyes looking up into the dark night. He didn't notice Sasuke until his fourth bowl? Damn, he must be slipping badly.

"Well," Naruto dawdled, thinking fast. "_Well…_ You're lying." And grinned.

He watched the other slumped a bit, as if he was expecting a different kind of answer but got really disappointed with the result. Sasuke turned back to his half finished bowl of ramen, setting about doing on what he had just abandoned.

Which naturally, got Naruto annoyed.

"Hey! Teme! I was talking to you!" He looked around the counter with question, before taking one of his chopsticks and whipped it over. Sasuke brought up his left hand up in a swift motion and easily caught the thin wooden stick deftly between two fingers. He calmly set it down next to him, not even sparing the blond a glance.

Damn bastard.

Naruto huffed in frustration and crossed his arms. He wheeled around in his seat to consider the given situation. He always had better things to do, but nothing could be more pressing than to piss a certain someone off.

This called for another tactic.

"Ya know, Sasuke," Naruto spoke in a lazy voice, "if it weren't for what happened today, I would never have known how completely ballistic someone can get." He pointedly ignored the icy glare and snickered. "You should have seen the face you made! Panicking so much—I told you I got everything under control."

An incredulous snort.

"Hey! Everything turned out fine, didn't it? Seriously, you were agonizing over nothing." Although, though Naruto with an inward shudder, it was just pure luck that the map was kept in an underground safe. But there was no way in hell that he'll admit _that_. Better go onto a safer topic.

"Anyway," he went on a little bit louder, "you know what your problem is? You're an uptight shithead. You're so grouchy and tactless that you end up being a bigger asshole than what you already are. Why, from the moment we stepped foot into that village, all you done was to scare off all those pretty ladies and make me look so bad—"

"Is that why you don't want to work with me anymore?"

Naruto nearly knocked over his ramen bowl. "Wa—what?"

"Stop acting dumb. I knew it was you."

"Listen, I have no idea what you're—"

"Cut the bull, Naruto. Hokage-sama called me an hour ago and assigned me another partner."

"Wait, what on earth does that have to do with me!" He cried, getting more agitated by the second. Oh God, he wasn't ready for this yet!

"Besides the fact that you started this?" Angry eyes bored into his. "Don't think that you'll get away with it—"

"What? Hey, everyone's practically dying to be partnered with the great Uchiha Sasuke, I don't see what the big problem is here —"

"—I'll beat you so badly that you won't be able to recognize your own face—"

"—and then Tsunade-baba'll lump poor me with someone who'll hate me and make fun of me and—" Naruto stopped in mid-rant when Sasuke banged his fist onto the counter. He looked up and realized for the first time how quietly Sasuke had walked over, and how close he had managed to creep up to him.

"You got Hyuuga Neji," came the flat reply.

_Shit_. And Naruto, for once, could not think of anything to say.

"You ditched me, Naruto." The accusation sounded so harsh that Naruto couldn't help but wince. "How dare you abandon a fellow teammate!"

"Wa—hey, stop jumping into conclusions, dammit! You don't know anything!" He was dimly aware of how his voice was scaling off into some girly pitch but couldn't find the energy to bring it down. "You're the one who's always pushing me away!"

"That's because you're an idiot!"

"You see! That's exactly the kind of attitude I'm talking about! Bossing me around and calling me all sorts of degrading names—" he snapped his mouth shut when Sasuke slammed one hand onto the counter, then another onto the wall behind him. He leaned in so close that Naruto was vaguely reminded of how a wolf circles in for a kill.

"I mean, usuratonkachi," he growled lowly, "that you sure had some nerve to touch me back on that mission."

What? Mission? Touching?

"If you want to feel me up so badly, at least give me a better warning the next time around!"

-----to be continued

This is just a little pilot project I thought I'll take a shot at. I've loved sasunaru for the longest time… well, maybe not as long as fujiryo, but I love them just the same! A lighter fic, I hope. Support me…? Somebody?


	2. truth and I

Blue eyes snapped open as the first rays of the sun streamed in through the window next to his bed. Fists then came up, gently rubbing sleep away. A yawn, a stretch and after wriggling his toes for a good measure, Naruto figured that this was about as awake as he was going to get.

Weird.

He hadn't been sleeping well recently. Since last week, in fact. Right on the night before he left with Neji to be precise.

And now, to pinpoint exactly _what_ was causing his life miserable from that very morning—

…_woke up, had breakfast, then an unexpected visit to the 'ol loo …_

Ugh. Fast foreword. After _that_.

…_snatching map, racing home, arguing with the old baba…_

Hm. Maybe just a tad further.

…_hungry, ramen, more arguing, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke…_

Then, of course, everything else from that very night just _had_ to come crashing down with striking clarity right after.

That damn guilt-tripping bastard, Naruto cursed mentally as pushed himself up from his bed and walked sluggishly over to his bathroom. Can't leave him alone even in his sleep. He automatically pulled out his toothpaste and toothbrush, blinking owlishly at the mirror. Then he suddenly shook his head and laughed. Sasuke might as well trip on a stick and smack into a wall for all he cared, that lump of turd…

Slightly after noon, he sat down at his table, checking his grocery list. He glanced back over to his cupboard and estimated about how much ramen he needed to buy. Sasuke never liked ramen. Especially the delicious miso ramen that Ichiraku served.

Naruto suddenly had the strangest urge to scratch out 'ramen' from the list and write 'udon' instead…

He was digging through his drawers for a decent set of clothes later on when he pulled out a suspiciously familiar shirt. A quick glance at the back confirmed his thoughts. That stupid bastard never took his clothes home from the times he stayed over. What was his apartment, a damn closet?

He shrieked in the shower when he realized the towel he had been drying his body with had an Uchiha fan symbol…

It was much later on in the day that Naruto figured he had gone through enough series of shocks and flashbacks for him to venture out from the safety of his little apartment without freaking out too much. All he had to do now was to avoid Sasuke like the mother of all plagues.

…yeah.

So there he was, listening distractedly to a fellow ninja who had conveniently stopped him in the middle of one of Konoha's busy main streets and started rambling about a dinner or his banana tree or _something—_ when a previously overlooked little snippet of wayward conversation visited him again.

…_I mean, usuratonkachi, that you sure had some nerve to touch me back on that mission…_

…_touch me back on that mission…_

…_touch—_

"Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

* * *

Disclaimer: naruto and co. belongs to kishimoto masashi. 

-----

a sasunaru fic, **Duplex Signal** by purple jellybean hoarder

chapter two: the truth shall set you free

* * *

So, as I was saying the other time, I find pants really erotic. No no, not dresses, not g-strings. Just… nice fitting pants. Ones that are not too flashy. Boxers are ok, even. And preferably worn.

Ahem.

Now before the whole mass of you start jumping and yelling and _psychoanalyzing_, let me say one thing—

I'm not a pervert, I swear.

Listen. Throughout my short and no longer innocent life, I have seen many perverts. The smut reading perverts, the closet perverts… hell, I've even had the unfortunate pleasure of training with the self proclaimed super pervert. And from my experience, I can safely deduce that none of what I do falls anything near to what I've already witnessed.

I'm just a perfectly healthy 19 year old boy who enjoys looking at certain eye candies…discreetly.  
Without the whole wide world after my balls.  
For obvious safety precautions.

I know what I'm talking about.

Trust me.

---

"So, how's everything?" Naruto slid into the chair across from Choji. It was tradition for everyone to meet up once a week and catch up with whatever was happening in their lives. And from last week's decision, the meeting place was to be held at Choji's favourite barbeque restaurant.

"I'll tell you how everything is!" Kiba practically screeched as he twisted around to face Naruto, "I've got another great reason to hate Sasuke!"

Naruto gulped.

"I mean, finally, when I thought Tsunade-sama recognized how my sleek awesome skills would be the perfect match with Hinata-chan's Byakugan, you know what happens?" cried Kiba, his hands shaking in the air like he was about to strangle somebody. "I got shoved with that stinkin' Uchiha, whose clan has more clan issues than all the other clans combined (baffling, since the aforementioned clan population only legally totaled to a pitiful one), the one whose attitude makes you want to punch his smirking face for the sheer joy of it, and above all, the one whose ego rivals the size of a bloated whale!"

He viciously stabbed at the very piece of pork that Choji was waiting for, shoved it into his mouth and continued.

"How did a poor guy like me get involved in this? All I wanted was to work with a pretty girl— _is that too much to ask_?"

"Kiba, calm down!" Sakura had been trying to get a waitress' attention for some while now, but no one was apparently brave enough to approach their table. Thank goodness both Hyuugas were unable to make it tonight to hear Kiba's little speech. Sasuke was never so interested in these little gatherings, so he didn't count.

"I don't know why you girlies love him so much," Kiba huffed, obviously not close to finish anytime yet, "but he's an absolute nightmare to work with. There he was, brooding about God knows what, and I thought that I might as well make the best out of the situation. So I cracked this joke and he nearly went berserk—in fact, he thought of a new katon that very night and _fried_ me with it the next morning!" He grabbed the person who was closest to him, which turned out to be Lee. "I want out, you hear me? I want out!"

"Stop insulting Sasuke-kun!" yelled Ino from the other end of the table. "You never did like him in the first place!"

"…true," he admitted after a moment of serious thought. "But wait! Naruto always complains about him! Which now rises a very good point…" Kiba suddenly leaned close to Naruto, eyes narrowing. "Why, aren't you a little quiet today? Shouldn't you have something to say?"

"…who, me?" squeaked Naruto. Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Kiba pressed a hand to his chest in mock apology. "That's right, you switched partners, so that was how I ended up with him!"

He lunged at Naruto.

"_I'll kill you_!"

Another fortunate thing, noted Sakura as they calmly shoved the two brawling teens out, was the fact that their table was located oh-so-conveniently next to the back exit.

---

About 15 minutes later, or when everyone was polishing off the third round of platters, Kiba and Naruto (both ruffled and looking oddly more attractive, if the blatant stares from the ladies at the front of the restaurant were any indication at all) came stumbling back to their table.

"Not that I blame you, buddy," Kiba sighed tiredly when he sat back down, "but I'd go crazy too if I worked too long with him. But it's just that—_why did it have to be me_!"

"Sorry," Naruto mumbled and tried to look ashamed.

A tense silence.

"Well…" Kiba said with a quick decision on his part. "Don't beat yourself over it. It's not like Sasuke never said anything bad about you either."

A golden eyebrow twitched… and everyone leaned closer.

"Quite ridiculous, actually. Freaked out Akamaru and I when we first heard it. We thought some bogeyman was after us." He tapped a finger on his chin. "It was like a low continuous mumble throughout the trip. And the funny thing was, I don't think Sasuke knew the stuff that was coming out of his mouth. Maybe too pissed to care? I would never believe that he was capable of talking so long if I wasn't there to see it myself—"

"What did he say?" someone hissed.

"What? Oh, yea. That. Well, because he absolutely insisted on walking faster than me, I couldn't catch a lot." He explained uncomfortably, his eyes sliding over to an already fuming Naruto. "Just the usual stuff, you know. Like how Naruto is an irrational dimwit who never takes things seriously and likes to make stupid decisions based on opinions which seem to make no sense."

"Wait!" said Tenten, obviously not appeased. "What about the time he was muttering when you guys arrived back!"

Ugh, a tough crowd. "Uh… oh that. Not really important. He just mentioned that he was going to beat Naruto up for being such a whining idiot the next time he sees him, and that it won't be much of a fight anyway, knowing Naruto is such a lazy slab."

Lazy slab? Naruto's poor mind echoed, already on the slow crackdown to insanity.

"Hold on!" yelled Ino. "Wasn't this the very same monologue when you guys were leaving from the Hokage's office—?"

"No, Ino-pig!" cried Sakura. "That was when Sasuke accused Naruto of acting as a stupid toad-loving dummy whose intelligence can only be compared to that of a goldfish! Even _I_ know about it!"

"Basically," Kiba yelled over the crowd, trying to wrap up this particular awkward topic as soon as possible before it got out of hand. "It was just Sasuke describing Naruto as a colourblind, absent-minded moron who talks too much and always stuffs his mouth with bad-tasting ramen—"

"That's _it_!" Naruto suddenly slammed his hands on the table and stood up, causing his companions and the rest of the whole eavesdropping restaurant to flinch away.

"—_I'll fucking kill him!_"

-----to be continued

AN: wow, thanks for everyone's support for my fun fic! I seriously thought that it was lame. But hey, some plot is developing, and that means that I have something to work with (which is always a good sign!).


	3. santa

It was the shock of the century, to say the least.

Sasuke knew something was wrong when Kiba showed up at his doorstep. He began to feel a bit worried over the fact that Kiba knew where he lived but tried not to look too concerned. He leaned against his doorframe, crossed his arms and attempted a bored look. "Excuse me?" he asked slowly.

"Look," Kiba said, getting more and more fed up at each passing second, "as much as I _love_ talking to you," –and here, Sasuke rolled his eyes—"I would like to have my buddy back. Minus the sudden bouts of anxiety... and the mass paranoia. Plus the fact that you want to work with Naruto again, what's there to lose?!"

Curious indeed. "I work alone."

"Nobody can handle this alone!" cried Kiba, just about ready to lose his patience, "that's the point of working together! Haven't you been listening to me at all?!"

Not really. "No deal."

"What! I don't see why you're refusing this! It's a win-win situation! What part of that phrase does your genius brain not understand—!"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"—not that I'm insulting you, genius crackhead." Kiba unconsciously took a step back. "And dealing with this situation the low and shady way is absolutely not my style. But Naruto's really stubborn, and you know how he refuses to back down once he decides on something. Besides, aren't you his—" Kiba paused, "…_friend_? Well, what kind of _friend _are you if you don't care about Naruto at all—!"

Sasuke's face darkened even more.

"—of course, everyone has different ways of showing friendship!" Kiba recognized red eyes and panicked. "You two just tend to beat each other more often than other people! Absolutely nothing wrong with that! I'm just here to… uh, inform you, since you are Naruto's _friend_, of the increasing amounts of time I have found him with Neji and Hinata (she's hot, btw). It's disturbing you know! Naruto's practically my brother, and even then he's spending more time with Neji than he does with me! There's a problem with that, you hear? A problem—!"

The Sharingan abruptly vanished.

"—so what I'm trying to get at is," rambled Kiba with some wild hand gestures, "how about we push aside our obvious disagreements and work together. I mean, what is more important— seeing Naruto happy with you, or making my life miserable and watching Naruto get all cozy with Neji–—_oh my god, not the face_!"

Some time later, Kiba calmly walked out from the Uchiha estates, sporting a black eye but a rather triumphant grin.

_score._

* * *

Disclaimer: naruto and co. belongs to kishimoto masashi. 

-----

a sasunaru fic, **Duplex Signal**, by purple jellybean hoarder

chapter three: the day santa came to town

* * *

It became strikingly clear to me on what was happening at the moment I first gazed upon a stunning pair of slightly loose navy pants late one night. There it was, worn in all of its blazing glory, my fingers just itching to touch it. And unlike other people who tried to hide away or beat themselves senseless for the mere absurdity of it or other ridiculous notions that I shall not bother to name, I took another approach. 

I embraced it.

The owner of those fabulous pants had unfortunately began to pace, and my eyes helplessly followed. The wonderful motion caused the fabric to billow slightly, creating gentle folds that sinfully accented amazingly lean and youthful legs.

_Sexy_.

The hems were slightly fuzzy at the edges, the knee areas a little worn down. The material slid smoothly down the shins and curved back from the calves. My curiosity suddenly decided to get the better of me and horror of horrors, my gaze steadily traveled up… and up... past beautiful firm thighs and into forbidden territory.

Dangerous, uncharted territory.

I figured that I must had somewhat resembled a hungry fish right at that awkward moment, eyes unblinking and mouth hanging open like a trap waiting for the flies to dive in. There I was, frozen shocked and sitting up rigid like a dry piece of jerky. My suddenly parched throat tried to work away at the million and one witty comebacks that had all conveniently congested my poor overloaded brain at the same time as I blankly stared into a pair of irritated eyes.

"_Gehhhhhhhhhhhh_…" I had finally managed to say.

An extremely short while later, I found myself walking home, dejected over the fact that I got kicked out. One of the most important events in my life just happened and I barely had enough time to recollect my scattered thoughts before being shoved out the door…

It was warm, soft and perfect.

Sasuke's pair of old drawstring pajamas.

Ah, my first love.

---

Sasuke was patrolling the east section of the Konoha forest when a transmission crackled over his radio headset.

_-Rogue nins, about 15 of them. Heading up north from the east side of the forest through the trees. I may need backup assistance. Over-_

He didn't even bother replying and dashed through the forest as a dark blur. He sensed rather than saw, the listless body that came hurtling towards him.

The sound of metal against metal came next. In the short time after the message, the group had apparently noticed that they were being followed. He was sorely tempted to jump into the fight—to defend, to fight, _anything_—but he quickly calmed himself down, hiding behind the foliage of another oak instead.

Sharp eyes surveyed the situation. Sasuke was far enough from the battle area to remain undetected but close enough to jump into the battle if he was needed.

Or if he wanted.

He watched, alert and with rare interest. Naruto had now developed to the point where he can easily handle 6 high level ninjas on his own without any problems. The problem was that out of the 4 that surrounded him and the other nin that got knocked to the back somewhere, the others were hiding in the trees like him.

The four suddenly rushed forward as if by an unanimous decision, weapons drawn and ready. Naruto crouched low under the swing of the closest attacker and knocked him unconscious with a swift knifehand to the base of the neck. Several shurikens came whizzing by and he ducked again, shoving one palm into the masked face while his other hand worked to block the downward swing of a katana with his kunai. Sasuke stared, as that agile body springboarded back, dodging more slashes from that sword, then twisted in midair to let a handful of shurikens fly.

Oooooooh… _bendy_.

One nin jumped down from his leafy cover and landed on the branch in front of him, hands already forming the seals to launch a surprise attack on Naruto's back. But that was not important. The jackass had blocked his view of the tantalizing scene and Sasuke wasted no time in shooting him down like the sorry piece of shit he was.

…ok. Maybe that wasn't the best idea.

Sasuke cautiously backed up until his back was lightly touching Naruto's. The contact brought a kind of warmth that spread across his body in deliciously slow waves, like how steam languidly swirled from onsen pools or how hot chocolate ran down his throat after spending too long outside on a cold winter's day or how cotton candy tasted—

"Bastard," Naruto hissed between his teeth. "What are you doing here for?"

The warm feeling vanished in an instant. Damn, that was fast, Sasuke noted dryly. He smoothly whipped out a shuriken to intercept an oncoming projectile before replying. "I'm the help, idiot."

---

By the time Sasuke had happily pummeled his third victim in record speed, he sneaked a glance over at Naruto. Not that he was worried. He could care less for the idiot. He was just…merely curious on how many nins Naruto had defeated.

You know, for rivalry's sake.

The second mistake of that day, he realized a tad too late, made him question his priorities in life. Strongly. Not that Naruto was in any danger like last time. Oh no, he was doing quite well on his own, actually. And his taijitsu had improved again. In short, there really wasn't essentially any problem at all.

So how about turning back around and beating the shit out of more people, eh?

If life were only that simple, he thought bitterly as he backfisted someone from behind without losing a beat. Itachi was cruel, but God hated him. And the sight was so captivating that it was impossible to tear his gaze away. Had temptation always been such a bitch? Somebody please kill him now.

He angrily kicked another attacker into a conveniently located thorn bush and seethed even more. Remain calm, he ordered silently, no need to get excited. He had fantasized it so many times that the actual image should be…nothing more… than… a…

Eyes glazed suddenly and he distractedly wiped the something that was trailing down his mouth.

Mmmmm…_ buttercups._

-----to be continued

AN: do people really like this fic? I feel so insecure. I need encouragements, dammit!


	4. here it comes

"Hyuuga."

"Uchiha."

_Chirp. Chirp._

It was not as much of a rare sight as it was a tenuous one—all confrontations up to date had been disturbingly nonviolent. Just a casual fling of glares and insults. Of course, with the two clans, they were always trying to pull up old vendettas and such (certain customs just simply had to be maintained) but now that Naruto had become an ongoing addition, any truce or compromise seemed bleak and futile.

…or so they all thought.

Naruto paused from his recollection of the fight and glowered at the two through his lashes as they attempted to stare each other down to death. The ominous amount of chakra radiating off from either one was enough to keep the entire cleanup team from approaching.

"Always a surprise to see you, Uchiha," drawled Neji. "Now why don't you crawl back to your boring patrol?"

"Shows what you know." Sasuke sneared. "Unlike someone, I never leave a teammate behind."

Pairs of nervous eyes landed on Neji, awaiting his next comment.

"Naruto gave me permission to escort our delegate to safety first. Don't you know? Teamwork comes from trust. Something you obviously lack."

Heads whipped back to Sasuke.

"Teamwork is useless without knowing the strengths and weaknesses of your teammates. Never thought of that, huh? I guess that's the kind of washed-up ninja you are."

ouch…

Pale eyes narrowed. "Always with the attitude, Uchiha. It doesn't take a genius to figure out why he wanted another partner!"

_snap_…

"There's no need to feel so insecure already, girly man. Were you born into the wrong sex?"

_BURN_!!!

Naruto slammed a palm into his forehead and let it slide down his face in exasperation. _Oh for the love of…whatever._ How old were they already? Must it always be like this whenever they met?

They were still bickering. Honestly. And people accused him of being unreasonable. Well, he was unreasonable only when he wanted to be. Plus, he was still mad at Sasuke for all the bad things he said about him. Payback will have to wait. If his senses were right, things were going to get ugly fast.

Two preoccupied jounins. A terrified cleanup crew. Some activity trickling through from beyond their makeshift shield. Another group traveling up from the direction of Konoha's main gate. A confrontation just waiting to happen.

He took a deep breath…

— and jumped to the side just as a kunai grazed past.

It suddenly rained violently of kunais with explosive tags attached and everyone scrambled madly for cover.

anbu was here.

* * *

Disclaimer: naruto and co. belongs to kishimoto masashi. 

-----

a sasunaru fic, **Duplex Signal**, by purple jellybean hoarder

chapter 4: here comes trouble

* * *

It came suddenly, in a conclusive flash of brilliance, as the world came crashing down and left me reeling from the implications of that very realization. 

_Bloody fantastic._

It was odd. It was unexpected. And from that point on in my young life I knew it meant trouble. It was bigger than ramen. It was worse than Lee's leotard. And it surely was a heck of a lot tougher to deal with than a pain in the ass.

No.

I valiantly wrestled with the mere stupidity of it just as I was then wrestling with the meaty hands that were after my neck. Damn crossroads in life. Damn abnormal upbringing. Damn perverts to hell.

I punched a face in retaliation. And kicked another cheaply in the shins. I was not going down without a fight. Uzumaki Naruto was made of tougher materials and the world was about to know just how difficult things was when I was pissed.

Were the times I spent with dear Sakura-chan wasted? The efforts I took in trying to understand the minds of the opposite sex complete and utter failures? The slow yet steady development of my obsession (_coughfetishcough) _for pants a mere cover-up for something more?

I cursed and I cursed and I cursed.

Dammit, I am _not _gay!

… am I?

---

"I have a plan." Sakura declared.

"What?"

"I have a plan to get Sasuke-kun to come to our meetings more often."

"Not interested," yawned Shikimaru.

"Don't listen to him, Sakura." Ino shifted her chair closer, her eyes already sparkling. "What's this plan?"

The group had met up again, this time at a homey sushi bar. As expected, not everyone was present—Shino, Tenten and Lee were away, but at least Hinata and Neji were back.

"I was thinking of doing something that was not too damaging, but enough to make him feel annoyed that he'll come to avoid it."

"Go on."

"Hm, how about haggling?"

"I wouldn't suggest it," interrupted Kiba. "He gets physically violent if you poke his ass too hard."

"Well, let's try nagging." Ino said, giving Kiba a weird look. When did he become the voice of reason?

"Useless."

"Stalking?"

"Tacky."

"er…blackmail?"

A scoff. "With what?"

"Kiba! You've shot down every damn suggestion we've made! Let's see you give us any great ideas!" shouted Ino.

"Thought you'd never ask."

"_What!_" If they weren't all flabbergasted before, they surely were now.

Kiba rubbed his hand gleefully and leaned in close. "What we need, people," he said lowly, "is an offering."

At this, they all slowly turned around to face the other table and stared at Naruto who was busy trying to decide on eating a toro, an ikura gunkan or an onigiri. Curious blue eyes blinked back at them and the four immediately huddled back together.

"I don't know," Sakura rubbed a finger against her lower lip. "Wouldn't this be… barbaric?"

"Ya, like the sacrificial lamb or something." Ino's eyes darted nervously.

_That's the freaking point._ "Nonsense!" Kiba waved his hand. "Look, you want Sasuke here, and I want… nevermind about that. The point is, this plan is foolproof." And they all turned to look at Naruto again.

"Um…" Naruto looked uncomfortable. "Is there something on my face?"

"Hey Naruto," Kiba tone was light and casual. "You've been to Sasuke's house right—?"

If Naruto hadn't been so surprised by the question, he'd feel insulted. Of course he had been to the Uchiha residence. It was like his second home. His crash home. He broke into it, raided it, accidentally trashed it one time. It was awesome.

"—then you would obviously know where _Hakka _is kept, right?"

Naruto instantly lost his appetite. "Whoa, hold on there. I don't like where this conversation is headed. I don't want to be part of this!"

Of all the katanas Sasuke owned, _Hakka _was his favourite. It was a beautiful thin sword with an unusual red blade. Sasuke would surely go ballistic if he had any idea what they were up to. And Naruto would rather not end up as some discarded … bloody…heap.

"Relax." Kiba quickly cut in. "You still owe me a favour from that other time. Don't worry, it's not hard. I just want a… picture of it. Yeah. And the girls want one too, right?"

Ino and Sakura nodded enthusiastically.

"What a retarded reason! I don't remember this 'other time'! This is peer pressure! Neji, help me out here!"

Neji gave a curt nod and turned to the person beside him. "Hinata, don't go near Kiba. He's evil."

"WHAT!" cried both Kiba and Naruto.

"_No!_" yelled Naruto. "I'm not ready for another confrontation! Ask someone else!"

"Narutoooo!" Sakura slammed her hands on the table, causing the whole thing to collapse onto itself and taking Shikamaru with it. Her eyes flashed like a scary pair of laserbeams and everyone quickly _backed off_. "You better do it, or I will—!!!!"

---

A lithe figure silently hoisted himself up over the high perimeter fence and landed softly on the other side of the compound. Cautious eyes darted up, down and around for any traps before landing on his knees and hands, _crawling _through the damn bushy undergrowth and towards the living room.

He slide open the shouji door with relative ease. No one around, just as he predicted. He quickly made his way across the room, pressed himself against the wall and slid open another door. Eyes peered down the hallway. No sound. No light. No one.

Piece of cake, right?

It was just so fortunate (and unfortunate) that Naruto happened to know more or less the daily schedule of one Uchiha Sasuke. The damn prick was always busy with one thing or another. It made Naruto wonder for an instant if Sasuke was already drifting apart, or had been for a long time, moving on with his life and onto better things…

The faint rustle of leaves snapped him out of his thoughts and he found himself growing angry. As if he had time to think of that pointy stick! Once he had that blasted picture, he was out of here!

He stalked out of the room and crept down to the other end of the hallway. The little chest was located in his room, beneath that pile of dirtied clothing. Quite ingenious, actually. Who in their right minds would want to search in a hamper?

Ok, except for the fangirls.

He walked up to it and frowned. Really, he didn't want to do this. Invading someone's privacy was never quite his thing. But if Sakura-chan ever leaked out that it was he who sewed Neji's shirt to his pants so that it resembled Lee's green leotard one drunken night ago, Neji could quite possibly toss him back to Sasuke. Which would be bad. As in bad for his health and sanity.

Fucking hilarious though.

He snapped the photo and tossed the clothes back in. Ok, mission complete. He glanced at the drawer chest to his left but quickly jerked his head back. Mission complete, he stressed again. That means leaving and going home and eating ramen and crashing into bed and dreaming of _cute pajama bottoms_—

…oh come on, he was here already, wasn't he?

…plus nobody was here to judge him, right?

…and Sasuke wasn't here to kick his ass, see?

…so what exactly is the problem?

Ah, hell with it. And Naruto nearly smashed into the drawers, eager to get his grubby hands on a certain piece of clothing. He yanked the top drawer out, gave a delirious little giggle and began digging like a groundhog on steroids.

_Wow_, he thought when he pulled out a pink little washcloth. This'll make good blackmail. He tossed it to the ground. He'd worry about it later.

The drawer was deep and before long, he gave up and began to throw everything onto the floor, desperate to find what other prizes he could find.

It was like a game, a treasure hunt. There was a dark blue handkerchief with the little fan symbol at one corner, and a thin mesh shirt that Naruto had seen Sasuke wear once, and a worn cotton sock stuffed inside a brand new weapon pouch and… and—

"And exactly _what _are you doing"

Naruto stiffened and turned slowly around. He took in the stormy eyes, the clenched fists and finally, the familiar pair of faded navy drawstring pajamas that were just taunting him from afar.

Naruto said the only thing that came to mind.

"_Gehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh._"

-----to be continued

AN: wow, thanks for the reviews! I feel loved! And now, to deal with some issues that have come up (and to possibly find out how sadistic I am)...

Q) is Sasuke aware of his feelings?

A) I don't want to say anything yet. Does he go through some weird epiphany? Maybe. But then again, maybe he already has. Confused? I don't like to state things in my stories. I like to imply them. It gives me delicious delight to know how readers interpret my clues.

Q) This story format is weird. You suck.

A) well, sorry that it doesn't poke you in the ass right, but I want to try something new. What's wrong with trying something new?!

Q) Will you possibly ditch this story with the way you have done with your other story?

A) Maybe. It is possible. But I haven't ditched my other story yet. And duplex signal to too much fun to ditch... yet.


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